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Wednesday, November 8, 2017

As the world anxiously watched election results...

A year ago, today, as the world was anxiously watching their tv’s for news on the Presidential election, my family was anxious for another reason. My Dad had been admitted to Kaiser hospital where he would spend the next 3.5 weeks fighting pneumonia, be transferred to a nursing home where he would spend five days and then peacefully enter heaven on December 7, 2016. 

The days that followed my Dad being admitted to the hospital were a blur of visiting him, getting my Mom to and from the hospital, meeting with Drs. and relaying information to family and friends, all while dealing with watching and hearing the wide range of emotions and reactions to the election results. Needless to say, my life was filled with emotions and decisions I was not accustomed to experiencing. 

My Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers nine years ago and in his last year of life we had seen the most drastic decline in his short term memory - it was now about 5 minutes or less. He still remembered my mom and loved her dearly and bantered and joked with her daily. He also knew all seven of his children and loved spending time with us. During this hospital stay his memory was definitely sketchy and he would sometimes know his kids, and sometimes not, or get us confused with one another. 

What I found fascinating were the stories he would tell us about days long ago. He would tell them while fidgeting with his activity blanket the nurses had given him to help calm him down and keep him from constantly trying to get up and “out of there!”. I am convinced that in his mind, he was there on the assembly line, or working on a project and it was all very important work. My father had an incredible work ethic that I admire to this day. He liked making his lists and found great satisfaction when marking items off his lists. I have inherited that list making satisfaction gene from him and it makes me smile knowing that I will always have that connection with him. One of many I cherish. 

The part that fascinated me about these stories, were the details and then length of the stories. He would talk and talk for over 20 minutes sometimes. I honestly do not know if they were accurate, and frankly, I don’t care. He was so into them, and spending time with us, which was his favorite thing to do. Family always came first. This was a vast difference from the stories he would tell us before the hospital. They were much shorter and not of such detail, and he’d repeat them again and again within minutes. His favorite was the story of how he and my Mom met. I’m so thankful that my sister, Joanie, captured him telling that story on video, so that I can go back and smile while listening to him tell it and hear his voice again. He loved and adored my Mom. Their love is another thing I will always cherish.

My sister, Joanie, posted on facebook this morning about my Dad entering the hospital a year ago today. Her words are beautiful and I’d like to share them here:
“This came up on memories today as I was beginning my day remembering that this day, a year ago, was the day my Dad went into the hospital; the last day he would be at home with my Mom. I sometimes think this was God’s way of transitioning for my Mom. Dad would still spend another month here on Earth, but Mom would begin to be at home without him, but still see him every day. When God called him home to Heaven a bit later, Mom had had some time to adjust without a sudden taking of the man she had lived life with for all her life. God was gentle on her heart and I take great peace in that. Love you, Dad. Miss you.”

Today I am thinking about my Dad in heaven, but it is my Mom who I have been carrying in my thoughts all day. She is one very strong woman! I admire her. I love her. I hope to be just like her one day.







Friday, October 13, 2017

One for my Book! Marinated Grilled Lamb Chops

Working on recipes again for my book! The process of choosing the recipes, making notes of measurements of ingredients, and taking photos is an exciting process. I'll be working on the outline for the book as well and making notes of stories and recipes. As I do this, I'll be posting to this blog some of the recipes to share with everyone. Kind of a preview of things to come! Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as this is definitely me stepping out of my comfort zone! Please send me feedback on recipes - especially if you try one and the recipe was unclear or needs tweaking. 




Marinated Grilled Lamb Chops

2 Tbls chopped parsley
1 tsp fresh thyme
1 T fresh rosemary chopped
1 t red chili flakes
Zest of one lemon
2 cloves of minced garlic
1 t salt
1 t pepper
2 T olive oil
10-11 bone in lamb chops 2.3 lbs

Drizzle chops with olive oil on both sides and season with salt and pepper. 






Mix other ingredients together and spread evenly onto both sides of the chops. 









Place into a ziplock bag to marinate for 1-2 hours. 






Heat a grill pan or large frying pan over medium high heat. Grill lamb chops over medium high heat for 2-3 minutes per side, depending on thickness.






 Remove from heat and cover with foil and allow to rest for 5 minutes. 





Enjoy~
     Tracy

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Three years later. Only a little has happened in my world. Ha!

I have to admit, I was surprised to see that it has been three years since my last post. I was still in my 40's then! Oh boy. These last three years have taught me a lot about myself. I learned that I can be there with an ill or dying parent and do my best to love and honor them, while being supportive to my family and being honest with my feelings. Grieving is tough and we all need to respect one another in how we deal with grief. I miss my mother-in-law and my father dearly, and I will continue to do my best to honor them by living an honest life with my family. I believe they respect my new found courage and are smiling down from heaven and giving me the strength I need to continue to grow.

I am thankful to God for bringing me through a tough patch in my marriage. He guided me through it, and gave me the strength to see that I am enough, and to do the hard work needed to rebuild my marriage anew. I know in my heart that it was no mistake in the timing. It forced me to take a long hard look at my life, and to pursue a new outlook of myself. Brene Brown's books, classes, videos, and the love and support of my family and friends and classmates, Sherri, Marina & Liz, were empowering! I now find myself taking a moment to breathe, just breathe, before speaking. This has been life changing. In doing the exercises and work in Brene's classes, I found that I am a breath holder. Learning some breathing techniques to use in moments of stress, anger, sadness, etc., has truly helped me to feel confident, heard, and seen. Amazing!

When I turned 50, both my kids kind of razzed me about my life. "What do you do all day, Mom"? "Maybe you should think about working again". "Maybe you should write a book"? "Maybe volunteer"? My initial gut reaction was, "I worked pretty much non-stop raising a family for the past 25 years"! And I was really good at it! Didn't I deserve to take a break? I get the whole "once a Mom, always a Mom" thing. My family is forefront in my mind always. I worry about them. I dream for their futures. I still nag, even though I really am trying not to. So, after thinking about what they said, I started to write a cookbook/life relationship book. It's a work in progress, and it definitely took a back burner shortly after I started working on it - due to illness in the family and my want/need to be there for my aging parents, and my work on myself and my marriage. But I'm ready to get going on it again and give it the time and effort it deserves. This blog might begin to be snippets of the book and recipes and stories. Stay tuned.